Okay. The threat: if I have to look at a moose's rear end passing by my living room, so do you.
The apology: I am deeply sorry for my dirty window. That is truly horrifying.
The excuse: Our beagle, Daisty, scratches on that particular window when she wants to be let in. The window is nowhere near a door, mind you, but it's the perfect spot for a dog to stand and stare imperiously down on her humans, who tend to lounge on the comfy furniture in the living room. I have no idea why Daisy's scratch marks look like hand smears. Oh, wait. I do know. I have 4-year-old twins with muddy hands who like to pretend they're beagles scratching on the window.
Please don't judge my housekeeping skills . . .
. . . or I'll make you look through dirty windows at a moose's heinie.
And that's not a threat—it's a promise.
Dinner last night: shrimp salad
Exactly one year ago:
Exactly two years ago: