In response to his introduction of these stunning creatures, I drily remarked, "Gee, Scott. Too bad your girls are so ugly." Except the delivery was all wrong. It was more like, "Gee, Scott." pause *crickets* pause "Too bad your girls are so UGLY." pause *blink blink* pause
I don't think Scott quite heard me—or maybe his brain was trying to process my hilariosity—but one of the girls immediately widened her eyes in horror. She couldn't believe that some poorly-dressed, elderly woman had just verbally abused her. I should have gone for the hyperbole factor, with "and FAT, too! and MEAN!" until they realized I was joking. But, no.
I attempted a conspiratorial wink with an explanatory, "Heh! You're beautiful!" to the girl, but it came out as an eye tic and indecipherable mutter. Then, in desperation, I turned to Scott and in a overly bright voice, exclaimed, "Your girls are gorgeous!" He looked confused and kept walking. The girls rushed past in awkward silence.
When will I learn that if you have to explain a joke, it isn't funny. You see, I was saying the OPPOSITE of the truth . . . er . . . um . . . pfft . . .
Also, Don Rickles is a totally hip and contemporary reference.
Dinner last night: ham and bean soup, cornbread
Exactly one year ago:
Exactly two years ago:
Exactly three years ago:
This is how nearly all my attempts at humor go.
Awww man!! I hate that for you!!
And I totally know who Don Rickles is!
So, I'm wondering how many of your readers will have to Google Don Rickles to figure out the reference :-)
Oh dear. Those things always happen to me, too.
I've definitely been there!
I don't know who to feel for more in this scenario. But I'm leaning more toward you because, really, if the kid is that beautiful, her ego can take it. Right...? ;-)
Oh my gosh! This is too funny. Please tell me you didn't have your middle schooler with you - she would have died!
I love how they all had such horrified expressions on their faces.
BWAHAHA. Sorry. Couldn't contain myself. ;o)
LOL! I know of DR because of Toy Story movies
How awkward and embarrassing for you. I feel your pain. I'd like to think that I've learned my lesson and would know when to refrain; sadly, this is not always the case.
Maybe if you email Scott a link to this post, all will be forgiven!
Don Rickles is Mr.
Potatohead in Toy Story; contemporary people ought to know who he is.
Awwwww Kim, I hate that for you. =\ I hope you are able to mend things someday. =\
In the mean time hugs to you. =]
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