2. Tilapia. Another food word that I'm not sure how to pronounce. Ti-LAP-i-a? Or til-a-PI-a? I distrust a seafood that I had never heard of in my life until about 5 years ago. Where does this tilapia fish swim? Why have I never seen it in the wild? Is this a fake fish, like the "krab" in so many restaurant dishes?
3. Green. Why must this word embody the environmental movement? I'm too literal-minded of a person, so every time I hear the phrase, "green home," I think of a house painted green. When I read about a designer who's into "green dresses," I think she specializes in an avocado shade of fabric. When I'm told to "think green," I get confused. You want me to feel jealous? What?
4. Ambivalent. When I was a little kid, I mistakenly got it into my head that ambivalent was a synonym for antagonistic. To this day, I have to pause and mentally sort it out, so if you're talking to me, it's safer just to say, "I don't care one way or the other." If you use the word ambivalent, I might think you want to fight me.
5. Puke. To me, this is the cuss version of vomit. I can handle it if you're talking about your fat, alcoholic Uncle Fred puking in the hedges. But your sweet baby sick with the flu, "puking all night"? That seems so coarse. I know, I know. It's just me. But if you start in with some story of how you got sick after eating bad chipotle tilapia over rice and ended up puking into a green shopping bag, I'm going to get real ambivalent, real quick.
Dinner last night: Chinese buffet
Exactly one year ago: