Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Minivan Milestone

I cannot abide a backseat driver. You know the kind—that helpful passenger who suggests when to speed up, to slow down, to watch out for this, and to be careful of that. Evidently God has decided I've some changing to do in my attitude, since He's plopped two little backseat drivers into my life to help me develop patience and understanding.

Lately, my 3-year-old daughters have been annoying me with their nonstop shrieks to "Go! Mommy! Go!" whenever I'm sitting in a long line of cars at a stoplight. I've tried the passive-aggressive approach, muttering "What do you want me to do? Smash into the car in front of us?" which doesn't faze them one bit. Then I decided to use the educational technique of explaining to them in simple terms that the red light means "Stop" and the green light means "Go." As the light changed, I over-enthusiastically sing-songed (sing-sang?) "See, girls? It's green! Time to go!"

What a mistake.

Now I am informed at ear-splitting decibels every time one of the twins spies a red or green light. It's of no concern to them that the intersection to which they refer sits 2 miles away. It could be the red flash of a semitruck's brake lights, for that matter. They're pointing out every stinkin' RED! light and GREEN! light, screaming for me to GO! or STOP! Since I didn't explain the purpose of a yellow light—speed up? slow down? it's too controversial a subject to discuss with an adult, let alone a toddler—they simply bellow ORANGE! Their noise almost made me miss the momentous occasion of my minivan's odometer flipping over to 100,000 miles.

A frazzled mother of shrieking twins driving a worn-out minivan.
Glamorous, I know.

Dinner last night: zanzibar chicken over rice, green salad, corn

Exactly one year ago today: Fun and Games


Quadmama said...

I made the mistake of explaining red and green lights to my girls. It's the same thing you're experiencing... we're three blocks from the light and they tell me to stop because it's red. Today I drove through as the light turned yellow. One my girls saw it change to red and began scolding me. Gotta love the backseat drivers.

Michele said...

Zanzibar chicken? Sounds so exotic!

My 2.875-year-old twins have also learned the significance of those pretty, colored lights. This is what I'm privy to, EVERY TIME:

"Green means go, right, Mom?"
"Red means stop, right, Mom?"

One of them said to me the other day, "Red means stop. Green means go. Yellow means go slow. Purple means...go to a birthday party!!"

Don't even ask.

Karen M. Peterson said...

Back before my grandmother was bedridden but still showing signs of Alzheimer's, I HATED driving her anywhere. She was the most horrible backseat driver in the history of backseats. She would scream if a car changed lanes next to me, yell that I was about to miss the exit that was half a mile away, and she would slam on her imaginary brakes if she thought I was about to run a stop light.

I can't imagine how much worse it would surely be with children!

Heather~sheaaa6 said...

lol Kim. =) Ours enjoy telling their Daddy about going through red lights, too. ;) He claims to them that it was yellow when he was in the intersection and I'd guess he's right since he gassed it to get there, but Kids are so much fun. =) Off to look for a Zanzibar chicken recipe. Sounds yummy! =p

twinmamabee said...

Haha! Too funny!

Peanut & Jelly Bean get so excited about the crosswalk signs - they are lighted orange flashing hands and every time they see one, they shriek, "the orange hand!"

They haven't said too much yet about the traffic lights, but there are often commands to go faster.